Why Desire For More Makes US Unhappy?

 

“Are you not ashamed of caring so much for the making of money and for fame and prestige, when you neither think nor care about wisdom and truth and the improvement of your soul?”

Socrates

 

“What do you wish for in life?” comes the very common blatant question from every corner of life. People usually love to question this; you might have also faced this same question. So, what has been your obvious answer? A majority would have answered “I desire to have more wealth” or “I wish to have enough money to make me happy” or “I want to be happy” and likewise. Well, the common belief often is, that scarcity leads to unhappiness. Hence, the more finances you have in life, the better you are. 

So, desiring more wealth is the obvious choice in life. Sounds familiar to you? Also, there is nothing wrong in asking for more happiness. You have every right to be happy. But, why do you think you need to ask for happiness? Why do you feel your happiness depends on anything? Isn’t having a life in this miraculous world already enough for you to feel happy? Think about these. 

Does desire for more give you more?

The desire for more, be it money or happiness, actually leaves you hankering for more and more throughout your life. You never reach the point of contentment and you are never happy with what you are. With such a craving, you are always in the wanting mode and always unhappy. So, what’s wrong with actually wanting for more of anything in life? How about the influential people with power and prosperity in the world who always go after having more of everything? How do they receive happiness?

Read on to find the secret to this.

Some thoughts on what desire for more leads to

First, how certain are you that those with a desire for more make them happy? Second of all, it’s the way you desire for more that makes a difference to your happiness.

Let's understand this with two similar scenarios.

“I wish to have more money, a car and a house.”

“I am happy with everything I have and I see myself having more abundance in life.”

Do you notice the difference in the expressions? There is a subtle, yet very crucial difference in the intention of these two messages.

The first one reflects lack of everything. It reveals that you are not content with what you have and always asking for more. So, what’s the guarantee that more of something will not make you want even more?

The second one highlights that you are totally happy with all that you have got, yet you are confident that you have the ability to have even more.

Desiring is a future tense, not present

A foundation idea of society is to strive for more. We often say things like “I want to be………. Better, faster, smarter, happier, prosperous, etc.” When we say that, we are always in the future. We reflect that when we have something in the future, we will be happy. It can be anything like status, money, power, love, etc.

Many of us do believe that craving for more actually brings in more. It’s about chasing something. However, you will be a bit shaken here to know that the reality works on the contrary. 

 

When you chase, you never reach. When you are content, you attract even more.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

How to be happy irrespective of anything

The tragedy is, that the yearning for more happiness backfires. It doesn't give you more happiness but destroys it. It truly echoes that you are not appreciative of your present. According to ancient wisdom, having anything beyond what is enough ruins happiness. Hence, you need to be aware of the 7 right ways in which you should express your desire. And, that’s how you can actually have more.

1. Express how grateful you are

Keep on feeling gratitude. The attitude of gratitude works wonders. Feel that the life you have is a chosen one; firstly feel appreciative for it. Count your blessings. Look around to find where all you have been blessed. Make yourself feel good; be happy with what you have already.

2. Desire what your heart wants, not others

Do not fall into the trap of impressing others. It’s your life and hence you need to realise what all makes you happy. Society often influences your thoughts to go after craving for materialistic things to outcompete others. You might be just happy following your passion and not running after surviving. You might have been building on your dreams, while your contemporaries may be running after building a house, getting a car and investing in Mutual funds. Who knows that a few years later, you will build your own empire which is way better than theirs, just by following your passion?

3. Never feel its late

Don’t worry when people tell you what you have done in life at this age. There is no comparison. While others might just be sustaining following common norms in society, you might be seeding your dreams for a bigger cause. Go at your own pace.

4. Keep life simple

You might not be aware of the fact that keeping clutter away from life helps in maintaining composure. When you desire to have more and more people in your life, it leads to energy clutter. Given the fact that a lot of people around us emit negative energy, without their awareness, it kind of seeps into our life. So, no matter how successful you are or at what hierarchy of work you are placed in, you can have a simple personal life. Surround yourself only with positive meaningful people in your close network and you can always feel happiness around.

5. Meditate

Mindfulness meditation can help you reduce stress and control anxiety. This process takes time if you are not naturally gifted to be a mindful and spiritual person. But the process needs consistency and it can help you appreciate what you have in mind. This will certainly cut down your desire to chase more. The frantic mindset is cut down with enhanced self-awareness.

6. Don’t fear rejection

As long as you see rejection as negativity, it will haunt you. Start looking at it from a positive point of view. The universe sends rejection where you are meant for better opportunities. There are more windows to be opened for you. In that melancholic moment of rejection, consider it to be a Universe-sent blessing to eradicate negativity from your life. Be happy thinking you are meaning something better.

7. Treat yourself with love

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” —Buddha

 

Become self-accepting of who you are. Be it your good or bad, learn to accept even your shadows. Love yourself unconditionally. You are a part of nature and hence love nature unconditionally as well. Try it for a few weeks and you can see the magic. You will have happiness bubbling inside you.

So, we see that yearning for more doesn’t help unless you are complacent. If you feel installing these values is a tough one for you, you certainly need help from a certified wellness coach. 

 

We have a pioneer coach with us to make a phenomenal transformation in your life. Coach Dr Paras, aims to inspire, empower and transform every individual on this Earth. The coach spearheads enlightening life coach training, customised certification programs and engaging mentoring sessions. Join Dr. Paras to see how to design your life in the way you exactly want it to be. Write to info@coachdrparas.com to know more about the sessions to be self aware and attain incredible contentment in life.